Alexandra Kay Details Her Divorce For The First Time Through Her Debut Album, ‘All I’ve Ever Known’

“I’m going through a divorce from my ex who I was with for a decade,” Kay admitted.


Madeleine O’Connell

| Posted on

November 2, 2023

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Alexandra Kay; Photo by Daniel Shippey

Alexandra Kay is typically very open with fans on social media, often giving glimpses into her life as a singer/songwriter, but when going through her recent divorce, she chose to keep the details private. Now with the release of her debut album, All I’ve Ever KnownKay is putting those emotions on the line and opening up about this chapter for the very first time. 

She Turned To Songwriting To Help Her Cope With Heartbreak

The 11-track project which dropped Thursday (Oct. 26), acts as a diary for the rising country star as she details the entirety of her divorce through some of the most “raw, real and authentic” songs she’s ever put on display. When the days became too overwhelming amid the heartbreaking situation, Kay started to do what she’s done since she was 13 years old and turned to songwriting to help process her emotions. 

“I’m going through a divorce from my ex who I was with for a decade,” Kay admitted to Music Mayhem.

Alexandra Kay, All I've Ever Known Album Art; Photo by Daniel Shippey
Alexandra Kay, All I’ve Ever Known Album Art; Photo by Daniel Shippey

“I pretty much just became 13 again. The only way that I knew how to process this extreme loss in my life and the grief that I was feeling was to write about it, and that’s exactly what I did, and so I’ve always been vulnerable in my music, but this is by far the most I think raw and real and unapologetic I’ve been when it comes to writing,” Kay continued.

Deeply Personal New Album

It’s clear that Kay holds a deeply personal connection to each of the new tunes she had a hand in writing. While it was incredibly healing for her to finally free those emotions, she was also fearful of opening up old wounds. 

Fans had already started to speculate when she stopped posting photos with her now ex-husband over a year ago, but now the Illinois native is putting everything on the table and letting fans in on the reality behind what she’s been going through. 

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“There are a lot of songs that are very, very specific to me that I don’t know how they’re going to go over with everybody else, because it was literally just me opening up a diary and just spilling my heart out onto the page and then recording it,” she shared honestly. “So that was the easiest part, but I think the hardest part of it so far is, you know, seeing everybody’s opinions online who don’t know me, who don’t know my ex, who don’t know my situation.”

Inspiration Behind The Title Track

The title track of the album serves as the first stage of her divorce when she was beginning a new phase of her life in a brand-new apartment, one that she could call all her own. The acoustic guitar strums and elegant sounds of a violin recount one of the more positive sides to the difficult situation as she realizes she no longer has to adjust the home to fit anyone’s needs but her own. 

“‘All I’ve Ever Known’ is that initial experience of me kind of laying in bed in my new apartment… Every house that I’ve ever bought was to fit his needs. Every place we’ve ever lived was to fit him, and so ‘All I’ve Ever Known’ is that realization of coming into my own,” she explained, sharing the meaning behind the title track of the project.

As she continues exploring the different tracks, Kay explains that every note, every lyric, every emotion, and every new experience that comes to light through these songs is a direct reflection of her journey with divorce, from beginning to end. 

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She continued, “Then you have ‘Kiss Me Goodnight,’ which is hearing about someone in your life moving on and being like, ‘How could you do this so fast?’ and then ‘Painted Him Perfect’ is really what kicks off the entire album, and that’s the letter to my fans.”

Writing This ALbum Was Therapeutic

Kay also hopes that All I’ve Ever Known will help others who are going through their own difficult chapter and need an outlet to guide them through the different stages of their emotions. 

“I kind of put my music out there as therapy for myself and as a coping mechanism for myself and to help and heal myself, but I want people to pick it apart,” the “Backroad Therapy” singer told the outlet. “I want them to take whatever they need [and] I want it to just be a toolbox. You just take whatever you need in order to fix yourself, and you can deconstruct my songs and you can make them mean something that they don’t actually mean because it relates to you.”

Alexandra Kay; Photo Courtesy Facebook
Alexandra Kay; Photo Courtesy Facebook

In doing so, she takes her heartache and turns it into something that has the potential to impact someone’s life for the better. 

“That’s what I want you to do. If not, then this is just heartache and it’s just tragedy, and I can’t accept that, and so I have to make something beautiful for everybody to be able to kind of take a piece of it and heal themselves, and so that’s exactly what I want everybody to do,” Kay concluded. 

As a result of her authentic storytelling, the album landed at the top of the charts, debuting at No. 1 on the iTunes Country chart and No. 4 on the all-genre iTunes Album chart.

Alexandra Kay; Photo Courtesy Facebook, Alexandra Kay
Alexandra Kay; Photo Courtesy Facebook, Alexandra Kay

All I’ve Ever Known: The Tour

Alexandra Kay is currently on the road for her headlining trek, All I’ve Ever Known: The Tour. This run kicked off November 1 at the Headliners Music Hall in Louisville, KY, and will continue with a total of 34 dates. She will wrap things up with a show in Nashville’s The Basement East on December 22. 

Jordana Bryant and Haley Mae Campbell has been tapped to join the tour as special guests. 

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Madeleine O’Connell graduated from North Central College with a bachelors degree in Journalism and Broadcast Communications before deciding to pursue her studies further at DePaul University. There, she earned her masters degree in Digital Communication & Media Arts. O’Connell served as a freelance writer for over two years while also interning with the Academy of Country Music, SiriusXM and Circle Media and assisting with Amazon Music’s Country Heat Weekly podcast. In addition to Country Now, she has been published in American Songwriter, Music Mayhem, and Holler.Country. Madeleine O’Connell is a member of the Country Music Association and the Academy of Country Music.